Essays, Short Stories, and Humor

Gail Gauthier: The Collected Essays

	Dinner at Shirley Farr’s House at The Memoirist, October 15, 2024. This short memoir relates to both eating and eugenics, which was a very big deal in the 1920s and ‘30s yet nearly forgotten by the end of the twentieth century. The University of Vermont has done a lot of work documenting Vermont’s history with eugenics.
	Confessions of a Doughnut Eater at Kitchen Tales, March 14, 2024. The family text lit up one day with talk of going out for doughnuts, which led me to bake some gluten free doughnuts, which led to this.
	Their Times and Ours at Ellemeno, August 30, 2023. It’s not a great idea for contemporary writers to model their work on well-known writers from the past.
	Mac and Me at Kitchen Tales, February 8, 2023. Another eating essay. I may have to consider giving these their own section on this page. This was inspired by the text I mention in the first paragraph.
	Julia Powell and the World of Blogging at Feedium, November 5, 2022. Julie Powell and I started blogging the same year. The similarities end there.
	Blackened Pans in The Bigger Picture, May 17, 2022. A personal essay that includes both eating and books.

We Are All Going To Die, In Case You Weren't Feeling Enough Time Pressure in Feedium, Jan. 6, 2022. This was a formal book review, rather than the reader response type posts I do at Original Content. It involved a book I’d used for a number of time management posts there.

A Minimalist's Christmas at The Bigger Picture, Dec. 6, 2021. I really did get the idea for this after deciding not to buy something for my kids. I did the first draft a couple of years ago.

Slow Down, You Write Too Fast self-published at Medium, Nov. 30, 2021. This was an attempt to rework a blog post from Original Content.

Still Another Story About The Medium Writers Challenge self-published at Medium, Oct. 23, 2021. Medium ran a writers’ challenge last year, which I took part in. A number of people published essays on the challenge, so I went ahead and did one, too.

What We Did There at Tell Your Story, Aug. 20, 2021. This was one of my two submissions for the writers challenge mentioned above. It is also one of a series of "black belt essays" I've written over the years about my experience as a taekwondo student. I had done a draft for a workshop the year before, and used the structure I'd learned there for it, as well as the feedback I received. So we’re talking workshopping, folks. I workshopped something.

Enough at Kitchen Tales, Aug. 11, 2021. My second submission for the writers challenge. I started this at least a year earlier. Since I am interested in writing about eating, I was pleased to get an opportunity to finish and publish it.

Heroes at Bending Genres, June 11, 2018. A flash memoir that also happens to be a dog story.

My Bread Loaf at The Millions, Aug. 8, 2011. A memoir-like piece about my experience working in the kitchen at the Bread Loaf School of English at Middlebury College.

Burned at The Millions, Aug. 18, 2010. Here you can read about how things were going with my career a while back and learn that I know too much about one particular TV show.

Mom Memory at Literary Mama, Aug., 2007. My attempt to reconcile my life as a mother with my life as a martial arts student.

Girl Deficiency in The Horn Book, Sept./Oct., 2007, Vol. 83 Issue 5, p 538. This short essay, not available on-line, was written for The Horn Book's special issue on how gender affects reading.

A Night at the Dojang at VerbSap, 2005. The first of what I think of as the Black Belt Essays, mainly because at my taekwondo school we had to write an essay every time we tested for a new black belt level. This was not one of mine.

Whose Community? Where is the "YA" in YA Literature in English Journal, Vol. 91, Number 6, July, 2002. Sample my article on young adult readers.

Gail Gauthier: The Collected Short Stories

	The Mother Suite at Literary Mama, November, 2022.
	Fears That We May Cease To Be at The Blue Nib Literary Magazine, May, 2020. A screen capture from Blue Nib's website before it ceased to be.
	Rosemary and Olive Oil at Alimentum, January, 2013. Another screen capture from Alimentum via the Internet Archive Wayback Machine since Alimentum has also ceased to be.
	How Mom Saved the Planet in Cricket Magazine, May, 1993, Vol. 20, N. 9
	The Mystery of the Ring-Tailed Cat in Cricket Magazine, Oct., 1983, Vol. 11, N. 2

Gail Gauthier: The Collected Humor Writing

	What Do You Mean You Hate Being Called “Ma’am?” at Slackjaw, October 22, 2024. I could write a lengthy essay about how women hate being called “ma’am” because the patriarchy has convinced them that they only have value if they can attract a man and bear his children. But I wrote this humor piece on the subject instead.
	Subject Lines I Love to See on My Emails at MuddyUm, September 24, 2024. This practically wrote itself. I just had to organize pieces to create call backs and escalation for the ending.
	You Are an Introverted Parent at Frazzled, August 12, 2024. The inspiration for this? It took me two days to calm down and get my psychological office and house in order after hosting two extremely well behaved young people.
	Thank You for Reading Scripture At Our Church Service This Sunday at MuddyUm, August 2, 2024. Yes, I did read that Bible passage…out loud…during a church service. Nobody seemed bothered by it.
	Does “The Owl and the Pussycat” by Edward Lear Support Our Community’s Values?, July 12, 2024. at Jane Austen's Wastebasket, This is a rewrite of something I wrote for my college expository writing class. Yes, I had been cleaning files.
	Things I Don’t Want to Hear from My Hiking Group at Greener Pastures, June 25, 2024. This one began as Facebook posts about things I didn’t want to hear my husband say while we were hiking.
	What We All Want to Say to That One Out-of-Touch Grandfather at the Playground at Frazzled, April 29, 2024. This is by far my most successful and controversial piece of writing to date. The response to this thing was an incredible experience.
	Some Thoughts Regarding Your 800 Page Submission About A Couple Of Bad Marriages at Jane Austen's Wastebasket, October 26, 2023. Honestly, I have read Middlemarch. I was recovering from surgery and couldn't go anywhere.
	Job Specifications For Position As Our Child at Frazzled, August 8, 2023. Being upfront about what’s expected of children before they accept a position with a family would improve job and employer satisfaction. A lot.
	The Best Moments For A Sex Scene During A Thriller at The Belladonna Comedy, June 2, 2023. Save myself in this dire situation or drop everything and have sex? In movies/TV/books, characters usually choose the second option.
	The Trick To Writing Stellar Book Submission Letters at Greener Pastures, May 18, 2023. If you have been submitting book-length manuscripts to traditional agents and editors, and if you have been reading untold numbers of articles on how to do it, and if you have been attending workshops on the subject, and if you have been reading agent bios and wishlists…well, if you have been doing all that, this will sound familiar to you.
	Some Thoughts On Your Request That I Start Helping Out Around Here at Frazzled, April 25, 2023. So one day I asked a young family member what she could do every day to help Mommy and Daddy, and she said, “Give them hugs.” I was unmoved, and that was the beginning of this piece.
	Five Goodreads Stars Because Tipper Taft Sinclair Is A Freaking Goddess! at Greener Pastures, March 3, 2023. I really liked Tipper. I could read a whole book about her and how she plans and cooks meals.
	You Are The Parents Of Sixth Graders. Act Like It. at Frazzled, June 2, 2022. Yes, I did chaperone a few too many field trips when my kids were young.
	There's Not Going To Be A St. John The Baptist Day Parade This Year, Eli at The Haven, May 31, 2022. My family is on of the few in the United States that celebrates this holiday. Once we had a bouncy house!
	Your Guide To Finding The Perfect Church at The Haven, May 2, 2022. This piece began life long ago as a wry, David Sedaris-type essay with very little coffee. I should be upfront and say that I don't drink coffee.
	Living in Nature at Slackjaw, Feb. 18, 2022. This is another example of a shell form, the shell being a class unit. I worked on this for two months while on weekly hikes.
	Your Child Has Been Exposed To COVID...Again. UPDATE: Do Whatever You Want! at Frazzled, Feb. 9, 2022. This was difficult to write. Repeating UPDATE and including text with strikethroughs helped a lot.
	I'm More Altruistic Than You Are at The Haven, Dec. 14, 2021. This is an example of a shell form, the shell being a text conversation between two people.
	Daddy Is Watching The Olympics Again at Frazzled, Aug. 3, 2021. And, kids, next winter you get to spend weeks of your life watching the Olympics again but with snow!
	Relieve Your Anxiety NOW! at The Haven, June 16, 2021. Yes, I have been to a couple of meditation workshops. No, they weren't like this.
	My Child Doesn’t Watch YouTube and Yours Shouldn’t, Either at Frazzled, Feb. 3, 2021. Humor from the toddler trenches.
	Dear Pastor Bill at The Haven, Dec. 2, 2020. Communion Sundays during the pandemic...wow.
	Well, How Many Masks Have You Made? at Medium, May 25, 2020. I've made over a hundred of these things. I've given up counting.