Someone Is Taking This Way Too Seriously

And They All Died Happily Ever After is the New York Times response to J. K. Rowling's tease that she might snuff Harry Potter in the last book.

Killing off characters has become just a little bit predictable for Rowling. Hasn't it been said that when Shakespeare didn't know what to do in some of his plays, he created a blood bath in the final act? You can't deny that that wraps up story lines.

Here's my prediction: If Rowling kills off more people--particularly Harry--in her last book, word will get out within 48 hours of publication day because Potter fans are maniacs (in the very best sense of the word) and that's plenty of time for them to polish off a Potter book no matter how much it weighs. Once the death becomes old news, the serious fans who haven't read the book won't out of outrage. And people like myself won't read it because why bother? We'll know how it ends.

Here's a story line Jo can have on me--how about if Harry has to sacrifice his magical powers in order to save wizardom? And then he has to go back to the muggle world and live like a Dursley into middle age and beyond. Or maybe he can even lose his memory of having been anything but a miserable teenager and then go on to work in an office selling paper products until his brain dissolves and flows out his ears.

Now, that, my friends, is real tragedy.